PRR – Families – Domestic Abuse

PREPARE

If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence, take action NOW. The National Violence Domestic Hotline provides a list for some of the signs of an abusive relationship. This includes a partner who:

  • Tells you that you can never do anything right
  • Shows extreme jealousy of your friends and time spent away
  • Keeps you or discourages you from seeing friends or family members
  • Insults, demeans, or shames you with put-downs
  • Controls every penny spent in the household
  • Takes your money or refuses to give you money for necessary expenses
  • Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
  • Controls who you see, where you go, or what you do
  • Prevents you from making your own decisions
  • Tells you that you are a bad parent or threatens to harm or take away your children
  • Prevents you from working or attending school
  • Destroys your property or threatens to hurt or kill your pets
  • Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons
  • Pressures you to have sex when you don’t want to or do things sexually you’re not comfortable with
  • Pressures you to use drugs or alcohol

Signs of domestic violence in child victims include:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Nightmares
  • Apathy
  • Aggression and disobedience
  • Lack of concentration
  • Anxiety

Resources:

  1. If you are in a life-threatening emergency, please call 9-1-1
  2. If you need to speak confidentially with someone please dial 2-1-1, available 24/7, which will connect you to support in your area
  3. The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 is also available 24/7 for anonymous, confidential help
  4. The Los Angeles County Domestic Violence Safety Plan Hotline is also available 24/7 at 1-800-978-3600 for help
  5. An entire list of resources and contact information covering a wide variety of needs and individuals of all different backgrounds and situations can be found here https://ncadv.org/resources

RESPOND

Domestic violence is increasingly becoming a more common form of partner-to-partner abuse. In fact, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, it was reported that, on average, 20 people are abused per minute by a domestic partner. Furthermore, 15% of all violent crime arises from domestic abuse. Most alarmingly, however, is that most cases of domestic violence go unreported to the proper authorities. Here is what you can do if you are a victim of domestic abuse:

  • Call 911 if and only if you are able and feel safe to 
  • If necessary, seek medical attention. Have all injuries and marks photographed and documented
  • If you feel comfortable, try to start a conversation with  your aggressor, making your feelings and intentions very clear
  • Find your local domestic violence shelter and go there if you need a safe place to stay
  • File for a protective restraining order 
  • If your life is in immediate danger, fight back as best as you can
  • You may reach the National Domestic Abuse hotline at 1-800-799-7233

 

RECOVER

Recovering from a domestic violence situation can be especially difficult for survivors and may be extremely different from person to person. This is for many reasons: survivors may not be completely safe for an extended period of time even after a relationship ends, legal processes can take a long time and bring up past memories, survivors may not be able to remember clearly (or even at all) what occurred, survivors may experience post-trauma stress disorder (PTSD), and many other reasons not listed.  What is important, though, is that survivors receive the services and support necessary. Moreover, those supporting a victim of domestic violence – sometimes referred to as secondary survivors – such as family members and close friends can serve crucial roles in a survivor’s recovery. They also, however, may face their own challenges in supporting a survivor in their recovery.

Survivors of domestic violence may experience the following in recovering:

Note: Not all survivors will experience the same things and may experience many different things not included in this list.

·       Bodily harm as a result of physical abuse

·       Chronic fatigue

·       Muscle tension

·       changes in eating and sleeping patterns

·       Issues with the menstrual cycle or fertility issues

·       Changes in sexual interest

·       Difficulties focusing

·       Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – such as flashbacks, nightmares, increased anxiety, persistent and distressful thoughts

·       Anxiety

·       Low self-esteem

·       Depression or persistent hopeless thoughts

·       Lack of motivation

·       Change in academic ability or performance at work

·       Anger

·       Feeling alone

·       Social isolation

·       Feeling shame

·       Decreased ability to trust others

·       Disassociation

·       Triggers

·       Alcohol or drug abuse

·       Increased or decreased interest in sexual

Those supporting a survivor of domestic violence may experience the following:

·       Anger

·       Guilt

·       Responsible for what happened or wishing that they could have done something to prevent it

There are hotlines, centers, shelters, counseling, among other resources specific to Los Angeles that one may find helpful. Some resources that are available are:

Comprehensive Services:

·       Los Angeles Department of Public and Social Services: http://dpss.lacounty.gov/wps/portal/dpss/main/programs-and-services/specialized-supportive-services/domestic-violence/

·       Santa Monica Rape Treatment Center: (424)-259-7208 (All services are free)

·       Peace Over Violence: https://www.peaceoverviolence.org/one-on-one

Shelters:

·       Los Angeles Housing and Community Investment Department (HCIDLA) list: https://hcidla.lacity.org/domestic-violence-shelters

·       LA County Department of Public and Social Services (DPSS) list: http://dpss.lacounty.gov/wps/portal/dpss/main/programs-and-services/specialized-supportive-services/battered-women-shelters-and-walk-in-centers/

·       Domestic Shelters (a non-profit organization) list: https://www.domesticshelters.org/help/ca/los-angeles

·       Women’s Shelter list: https://www.womenshelters.org/co/ca-los_angeles

Legal Services:

·       Los Angeles Department of Public and Social Services list: http://dpss.lacounty.gov/wps/portal/dpss/main/programs-and-services/specialized-supportive-services/domestic-violence/?1dmy&page=dept.dpss.programs-and-services.specialized-supportive-services.detailhidden&urile=wcm%3apath%3a/dpss+content/dpss+site/programs+and+services/specialized+supportive+services/detail+page+authoring/a56e89b4-94b2-48ee-b189-0585163cfb51

Hotlines:

·       National Domestic Abuse hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

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